i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
