Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
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