dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
