you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Watching her eat just hurts me
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
