There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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