we have officially lost it.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
