He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
