***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
