i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
