How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Never let your siblings swipe right.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
