and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
