Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
