Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Are my feet made of real feet?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
