I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
