yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
