his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
