I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
