Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
