You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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