Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Randomize
