why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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