I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
