I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
