I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
