thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Randomize
