hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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