no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
