if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Randomize
