he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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