I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
