I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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