found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
