Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
