did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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