coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
