he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
