4 words: hood of his car
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
