Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
