Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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