I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
