ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
babies were throwing up all over the place
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
