I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Randomize
