I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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