If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
