He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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