i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
