Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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