Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
