I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
