I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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