Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
