Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
She announced her abortion via fbk
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
