i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
