dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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