Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I think i got beer on your cat.
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